如何與伴侶一起愉快地在家辦公?專(zhuān)家給你支招 5 ways to get along with your new coworker - your spouse
中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng) 2020-04-17 08:15
疫情迫使人們?cè)诩肄k公,也讓很多夫妻有機(jī)會(huì)看見(jiàn)對(duì)方工作的樣子。但是,一起過(guò)日子和一起工作畢竟不太一樣,要怎么做才能和這個(gè)“新同事”保持融洽又默契的關(guān)系呢?
1. Address the elephant in the room
把心照不宣的問(wèn)題擺到桌面上來(lái)談
Knowing what your partner does is one thing, but seeing them in action is another.
知道你的伴侶是干什么工作的是一回事,但是看到他們真實(shí)的工作狀態(tài)又是另外一回事。
"We are forced into the intimacy, not just with spouses, but also with kids or whoever else is in the home," said Karen Bridbord, a psychologist in New York City.
紐約心理學(xué)家凱倫·布瑞德博爾德說(shuō):“我們被迫在一起密切相處,不只是和配偶,還有和家里的孩子或其他人一起。”
The first step in making this situation work is to talk about it. Talk about any insecurities you may have whether it's participating in a video meeting or being eavesdropped on and what you need in terms of a work environment. Then create a schedule and set boundaries when it comes to separating work life and personal life.
應(yīng)對(duì)這種局面的第一步就是交談。談一談你在參加視頻會(huì)議或旁邊有人偷聽(tīng)時(shí)會(huì)有的不安全感,以及你需要的工作環(huán)境。然后制定出日程安排,設(shè)定工作和個(gè)人生活的界限。
"Have a more general conversation about concerns: what are you worried about vis-à-vis work -- your partner seeing you work being one of those -- and why you worry about them," said Jennifer Petriglieri, author of "Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive in Love and Work".
《雙職工夫妻如何在愛(ài)情和事業(yè)上雙豐收》的作者詹妮佛·佩翠格里爾瑞說(shuō):“在平時(shí)聊天時(shí)談?wù)勀愕膿?dān)憂:你對(duì)面對(duì)面工作的擔(dān)憂,包括你不喜歡伴侶看你工作,以及你擔(dān)憂的原因。”
vis-à-vis['viz?vi]: 面對(duì)面,相對(duì)著
In this way, you're more likely to evoke empathy from the partner which will help negotiate boundaries.
這樣你更容易喚起伴侶的同理心,對(duì)方也將幫助你協(xié)調(diào)界限問(wèn)題。
2. Provide an inside look
讓對(duì)方了解你的工作內(nèi)幕
Sometimes, our partners only hear the bad stuff about work: the micromanaging boss, that loud co-worker and the impossible deadlines.
有時(shí)候,我們的伴侶只聽(tīng)到關(guān)于工作的負(fù)面信息:管頭管腳的老板、嗓門(mén)很大的同事和極不合理的工期。
But being forced to work out of the same office now can help change perceptions and even help partners and kids better understand what we do all day. And that's not a bad thing.
但是現(xiàn)在被迫在一處工作有助于改變伴侶對(duì)你工作的認(rèn)知,甚至有助于伴侶和孩子更好地理解我們每天在忙什么。這不是一件壞事。
Make your work part of the daily conversation by talking about what you're working on and why it's important to you, suggested Petriglieri.
佩翠格里爾瑞建議,每天都聊聊你工作的內(nèi)容,以及為什么它對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)很重要。
"When everyone understands the priorities and why they are important, we're more likely to be respectful of boundaries and appreciate each other's work space."
“當(dāng)每個(gè)人都理解應(yīng)當(dāng)優(yōu)先處理的事情,以及為什么這些事情很重要,我們更可能尊重界限和對(duì)方的工作空間。”
3. Use project management tactics
運(yùn)用管理項(xiàng)目的技巧
Tackle this situation like you would a challenge at the office: get organized, communicate and delegate.
像應(yīng)對(duì)職場(chǎng)挑戰(zhàn)一樣來(lái)應(yīng)對(duì)當(dāng)前的局面:有條有理、溝通交流、分派任務(wù)。
That means defining everything that needs to be done, including child care, cleaning and cooking, and then delegating.
這意味著明確每件需要做的事情,包括看孩子、打掃和做飯,然后分配任務(wù)。
Having daily meetings to plan or assess the day or documenting all the responsibilities can help keep everyone on track.
每天開(kāi)個(gè)會(huì),計(jì)劃、評(píng)估當(dāng)天的工作或記錄所有職責(zé),這有助于每個(gè)人步入正軌。
4. Avoid treating each other like colleagues
不要把伴侶當(dāng)同事來(lái)對(duì)待
You might be learning that your spouse is a fan of all the office clichés or holds too many meetings -- but it's best to keep that to yourself.
你可能了解到你的伴侶很愛(ài)說(shuō)辦公室的陳詞濫調(diào),或者開(kāi)很多會(huì),但你最好不要說(shuō)破。
Even if you think your intentions are good, don't offer any unsolicited feedback when it comes to your partner's work style.
即使你認(rèn)為自己的出發(fā)點(diǎn)是好的,但對(duì)于伴侶的工作方式不要主動(dòng)提出意見(jiàn)。
And don't mistake complaining as an opportunity to critique.
另外,也不要把伴侶的抱怨當(dāng)成批評(píng)的機(jī)會(huì)。
"Even if a partner is complaining about work, you shouldn't see that as an invitation or opportunity to provide critical feedback," said Anthony Chambers, chief academic officer at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. "Allow them to vent and be heard."
美國(guó)西北大學(xué)家庭研究所的首席學(xué)術(shù)官安東尼·錢(qián)伯斯說(shuō):“即使伴侶在抱怨工作,你也不應(yīng)該將其視為請(qǐng)你提供批評(píng)性意見(jiàn)的機(jī)會(huì)。讓他們?nèi)颊f(shuō)出來(lái),你聽(tīng)著就好。”
5. Don't go tit for tat
不要斤斤計(jì)較
These working conditions aren't ideal for many people right now -- especially if you are juggling kids and other care giving responsibilities. It can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but try not to keep score of who is doing what around the house, or whose work is more pressing.
當(dāng)前的工作條件對(duì)很多人來(lái)說(shuō)都不理想,尤其是在你還要兼顧孩子和其他護(hù)理職責(zé)時(shí)。這會(huì)讓你感覺(jué)不堪重負(fù)、精疲力盡,但盡量不要計(jì)較對(duì)方在家付出的勞動(dòng)量,或者誰(shuí)的工作更緊迫。
英文來(lái)源:CNN
翻譯&編輯:丹妮