Forced to choose between his pet dog and his girlfriend, one man decided the best way to find his friend a new home was to post an advert online.
因被迫在女友和寵物狗之間做出選擇，一名男子決定在網上刊登廣告給女友找下家。

Entitled 'Free to any willing home', the Craigslist ad describes the best and worse traits of his companion in a bid to best match her with a new owner.
這則刊登在Craigslist的廣告標題為“免費送給任何愿意收養的家庭”，其中描述了他的伴侶的優點和缺點，以期為她找到最合適的新主人。

Following his lengthy farewell, the advert's real message is revealed at the end.
在一整篇戀戀不舍的文字之后，這則廣告的真實意圖才顯現出來。

Not mincing his words, the man denounces his partner - describing her as a 'selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend' and asks for her to be quickly re-homed.
該男子很直白地對女友進行討伐，稱她是“自私、邪惡、拜金的女友”，并且希望她盡快被人領走。

In the opening line of the message, the man, who lives in the city of Roanoke, Virginia, outlines how his girlfriend does not like his pet dog Molly, before explaining a bit about her.
該男子家住弗吉尼亞州的羅阿諾克市，他在廣告的開頭簡要說了一下他的女友有多不喜歡他的寵物狗莫莉，之后也對女友稍事介紹。

The advertisement which includes an adorable photo of Molly the beagle, goes through all her attributes in a frank manner.
廣告中附有一張莫莉可愛的照片，同時也坦白列出了她的習性。

'She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years,' it states. 'She likes to play games. Not totally trained.'
“她是來自富人區的純種犬，已經跟我4年了。她喜歡玩游戲，沒受過訓練。”

'Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done.'
“因為毛發較長，所以有點難伺候，尤其是指甲，不過她很喜歡修指甲。”

The man even admits how she 'stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work'.
該男子甚至指出，莫莉“整宿整宿地叫喚，然后在我工作的時候呼呼大睡。”

He goes on to highlight more of her positive characteristics as well as the potential problems she might bring to her new owners.
接著，他還重點列出的莫莉的優點和可能會為新主人家里帶來的問題。

'Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!'
“她只吃最好、最貴的食品。當我結束一天的工作回到家后她從來不會跑到門口來迎接，我心情不爽時她也不會給我關愛。她不咬人但脾氣極壞！”

After all the description, the man's real message comes to fruition in the final sentence - revealing his decision to say goodbye to his girlfriend rather than his faithful hound.
在所有這些描述之后，該男子的真實意圖終于顯現，他決定拋棄女友，與忠實的汪星人朋友相伴。

He ends with: 'Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed ASAP!!'
廣告的結尾時這樣的：“快來把她領走！我和我的狗狗希望她盡快找到下家！”

It remains to be seen how the girlfriend reacted to the news but at least Molly will be relieved to hear that she remains the man's best friend.
目前尚不知道該男子的女友會對這則廣告作何反應，不過最起碼寵物狗莫莉能夠長舒一口氣了。

Vocabulary:

denounce: 譴責，指責

gold-digging: 拜金的

yap: 狂吠

fruition: 實現

英文來源：每日郵報

譯者：高晴

審校：馬文英

編輯：左卓

（中國日報網英語點津）