張明權 |
本期點評專家:張明權
參考譯文:
After Kaloshi, the Naked Resignation
Stung by the news of a rookie white collar cut off in her prime who had just graduated for half a year, several employees have given up, according to their posts in forums, their "pressurized: positions that may earn each of them an annual pension of more than RMB 100, 000 at "Big Four" (PWC, DTT, Ernest & Young, and KPMC) and top 500 enterprises. The "quitters" say they need to take a rest or find an alternative job of low pay but with little pressure. The call for "a life away from Big Four" echoed on the microblog heats up the "naked resignation wave" in a season of job hunting. However, employees are warned by HR experts against overacting to the incident, while employers are prompted to take viable measures to help relax their employees.
全球化是當今翻譯的最大語境,在一個超級互聯的世界里,任何信息都會瞬間傳遍全球,許多詞匯因此開始在全球共享,比如源于日語的kaloshi(過勞死),比如不知道算不算中國人首創的naked resignation(裸辭)等。在中國加入WTO以后,世界500強企業大多已經進入中國,四大會計師事務所也在中國開辦了業務,中國不僅完全融入了世界,而且中國就是世界的縮影,全球共此冷暖,詞匯同樣可以分享,因此一些China English的詞匯不斷被創造出來,比如之前探討過的ungelivable等。
譯題一標題中的兩件事是接續發生的,在翻譯的時侯把二者串起來很重要,karen87和momowuwen都使用了in the wake of來翻譯,表示在“過勞死”之后,“裸辭”接踵而至;clumsy和serenatan分別用prompt和cause來揭示兩件事情之間的因果關系;這些翻譯都是正確的。“觸動”也需翻得形象一點,而且“受到此事觸動”是聯系上下文的紐帶,不少網友忽視了這一點,但clumsy處理的很好,用alarmed by領跑一個復雜的句子,并能把原文的多余信息處理掉。該網友的翻譯整體上很好,不過用resignation wave來對譯“裸辭”,反映了譯者對直譯和使用中國英語的擔心。“超高壓”一詞也不容易翻譯,pressurized這個詞本義是“增壓的”,也引申指“忙不過來的”,筆者覺得比直譯superpressure positions或high-pressured要更地道一些。“矯枉過正”的翻譯也不一而足,有些網友過分依賴詞典,使用overcorrect來對譯是不可取的,成語的翻譯一定要結合上下文,所以要指明是overreact to the incident,也就是一位女員工偶然早逝的這一事件。
翻譯不僅是詞語的問題,更重要的是句子結構和段落的整體布局的調整,比如這里的口號“珍愛生命,遠離四大”,放在calling for后面時,一定要用名詞或動名詞的形式,還有就是英語的詞匯對句型的要求往往很高,在翻譯時一定要給與特別的關注,比如像The echo of "death from overwork" determined the high-income white-collars resign這樣的翻譯中,就忽略了resign的詞性,在網友的翻譯還有不少此類問題,限于篇幅不能一一指出。
參考譯文:
"Mum would be so proud of Kate", says Prince William
More details are exposed of the scheduled nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. One top official of the royal household publicized in advance the future King's speech: the son would show tributes to his mother, the late Lady Diana, as much as to say "I miss you every day"; he would speak of the two most important women of his life, and that "Mum would be so proud of Kate".
According to the said official, this speech of William's would show his emotional side unknown to his people, it would be the most affecting and move all guests to tears present at the wedding. William would proceed with resemblances between Kate and Mum and virtues they share, especially in showing benevolence, and Mum would be "shrilled" at his son and Kate getting married.
關于英國王室的報道大多是根據英語報道編譯成中文的,現在要翻譯成英語首先必然涉及回譯的技巧,特別是有關威廉王子演講的內容,最好能找到原文,回譯過去,可惜的是我查閱了相關的報道,并沒有找到王子完整的講話稿,只有一些只言片語,零星的看出他的一些用詞,比如proud, miss, thrilled等。再一個就是如何處理王子與戴安娜王妃的關系用語問題,在這個展示王子感性一面的演講中,自然要用到Mum和son這樣的詞,所以這也是翻譯特別要注意的地方。
該譯題的網友譯文比較優秀有rollyn-fighting, clumsy等網友,但可惜的是rollyn-fighting和其他很多網友一樣,把every day寫成了everyday。
“以兒媳為榮”這句話在很多報道中有所涉及,譯成proud of Kate感覺更親切一些,特別是用直接引語,不要譯成proud of her daughter-in-law,有網友翻譯出Prince William claims that Princess Diana will be pround(原文如此)of her wife,明顯是用錯了代詞her。“相提并論”大多數網友都翻譯成了compare,給人“可以比較”的感覺,不符合英國英語低調陳述的特征,用speak of就可以了。“感性的一面”有網友翻譯成sensitive,這個詞確實有褒義色彩,表示“有細膩感情的”意思,令我想到了Jane Austen的小說Sense and Sensitivity,但我偏向使用更低調的emotional這個詞。
本屆上海車展綠色環保氣息格外濃郁,從組委會搭建的2011上海車展進場入口處的綠色門頭,到展館內各家車商紛紛推出的綠色環保節能車、電動車、概念車等,場內場外到處洋溢著綠色的氣息。
這些設計時尚潮流而又充滿科技智慧的綠色車型,不僅可以滿足強勁動力需求,而且大幅度地減少了油耗和排放污染。相信在不久的未來,當技術全面成熟、周圍的配套硬件設施齊備以后,我們離綠色電動也就不遠了。
參考譯文:
Shanghai Auto Show "Green" with Electric Cars
Shanghai Auto Show 2011 is tinged outside and in with full green, all the way from the exhibition gateway erected by the Organization Committee to the energy-efficient cars, electric cars, concept cars, etc. that are being promoted by car dealers.
All these eco friendly cars of trendy designs and high tech not only meet the strong desire for momentum, but also drastically reduce fuel consumption and exhausts. It is believed that we are heading for the near future when technologies and hardware facilities along the way grow consummate for widespread use of electric cars.
本譯題標題中,“綠”字作動詞用,在英語中并無對等說法,雖然英語中的green同樣與環保有關。在翻譯時可以交替使用green和eco friendly來翻譯“綠色環保”,但英語中不要在同一地方復用這兩個詞。漢語第一段由幾個小句組成,但都圍繞一個中心,那就是展廳內外濃郁的綠色環保氣息,rollyn-fighting使用brim這一動詞的進行時來翻譯全句的中心動詞很形象,lisonwang使用的overwhelm一詞感覺有些過了,clumsy和guanyu168則側重意譯,jasmine-I使用perfume一詞可能考慮了視覺和嗅覺的通感修辭,是否能被英語讀者接受存疑,其他網友則往往譯成了filled with,不是很形象。“時尚潮流”又是漢語的同義詞復用的例子,意思上等于trendy, fashionable, chic等英語詞匯,“科技智慧”則屬于上下義關系,科技是一種智慧,但technology wisdom卻并非原文所要表達的內在含義,從上下文理解,這里可以譯成high tech,還有就是漢語科技并稱,但從汽車制造來講,這里涉及的主要是技術問題,所幸的是大部分網友注意到了這個問題,但似乎都不愿意舍棄wisdom一詞,原因可能是沒有正確理解漢英構詞習慣上的差異。“周圍的配套硬件設施”涉及一些常識問題,既然要發展新能源汽車,比如電動汽車,那就需要沿途設置充電站,所以這里要把這一層意思譯出來才好。
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專家簡介:
張明權,安徽省固鎮縣人,江蘇大學外國語學院副教授,英語語言文學碩士,上外博士課程班進修。主要從事英語語言學和翻譯學研究,在國內外學術期刊發表論文10余篇,出版譯著兩部,發表其他文章20余篇,有大量翻譯實踐經驗,翻譯總字數接近200萬。Email: mqzhang@ujs.edu.cn。
(作者:張明權 中國日報網英語點津 編輯:Julie)